How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
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I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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