Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
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I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
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Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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