No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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