Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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