You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize