just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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