I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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