did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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