you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize