my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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