I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize