I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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