The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
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Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
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she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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