I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
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he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
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My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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