You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize