I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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