You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
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i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
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Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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