Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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