I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize