On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I touched a dick in church today
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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