Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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