Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
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This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
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I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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