Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
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Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Enjoy the penises
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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