Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
PANTIES FOUND
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