Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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