I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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