hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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