where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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