He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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