these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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