so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize