I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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