What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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