there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
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Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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