I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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