he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize