Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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