see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize