summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize