Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
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