Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize