he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize