it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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