i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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