This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
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Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
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How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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