i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
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The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
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All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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