brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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