I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize