i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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