We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
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I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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